i will never forget
the feelings of fear
and anger and loneliness
the vain attempts
to nudge away despair

or the shame imparted
by looks of knowing strangers
and even more so the horror
of recognizing that even
unknowing looks project
similar perceptions
strictly out of habit
a rote paranoia

nor will i soon forget
the desperate cries to heaven
plaintive wails meant
for troubling the angels
and grasping for a dying hope
out of a discourse of desolation

it’s like living on death row
when all i did was drive the car
how was i supposed to know he had a gun



Dedicated to all mothers facing life with HIV. May 2007.